The pain of waiting for “The One”…and what to do instead
All her life Jill was told that someday she would find the one man who was just right for her.
And - she knew just what he would be like.
He would be smart, and kind, and funny.
He would, of course, be an excellent father, and he would have a job that paid very well that still left him lots of time for family fun.
He would be handsome, witty, and completely devoted to Jill.
She imagined him often, and even slipped him into her prayers at night.
When Jill was a bit older she started dating and she met a few nice men.
But, none of them quite matched up to the man she was looking for.
Some of them were good looking, but they didn’t make a lot of money.
Some of them were rich, but they seemed cold and couldn’t make her laugh.
So, she waited… and waited… and waited for a man who checked all her boxes.
She watched as her friends got married, and had children, and she complained that there just aren’t any good men out there anymore.
Now, in her thirties, Jill is so tired of waiting.
She can barely stand dating anymore - because she truly believes most men aren’t worth her time and effort.
Where is her man?
Where is this “perfect fit” everyone promised her?
If only Jill knew the one true secret about men….
Turns out, the theory of “the one” is just a myth.
Jill could have had a happy life by now with several of the men she had passed by.
She had been so focused on the idea of what her man was supposed to be, that she never really gave anyone a chance to get close to her.
And - it isn’t her fault!
We have been taught since we were young that somewhere in the world there is one person just for us, that will fit like a glove, and make everything alright.
They will make us happy.
The truth is (and you may not like the sound of it) the only “one” who can make you happy- is you.
There are a lot of people in the world that will be a “good fit.”
And exactly 0 people that will get it right all of the time.
When we make big lists, with little boxes that need checked, we are really building ourselves a cage.
A cage where we become untouchable by the outside world.
Where, even the really good ones don’t stand a chance.
What Jill should have done instead, was to examine how she felt with each man she dated.
Was she feeling loved and cared for?
Did she feel safe?
Did she feel free to be her most genuine authentic self?
Everything else should be secondary to how you feel with a partner.
Finding a love that feels good and that allows you to feel free looks different to everyone.
Do you ever see an odd couple - one that you just can’t make sense of?
One of them is far better looking than the other, or they don’t follow the “social norm” of what a relationship should look like.
But, they’re blissfully happy!
They have a relationship based on how they feel with each other.
Instead of getting caught up in what they’ve been told a relationship should be, they found a life that feels good to both of them and built they’re love in that.
Want help letting go of your check list, so you can finally stop dreaming about and praying for love, and finally make it happen?
Email me below for a free expert discovery session.
