Dating with a chronic health condition

Dating can be tough. You meet someone you like, you start to spend time together, and you feel like you're on cloud 9. And, you start to worry about how they will handle your imperfections.

This can be especially hard when you are dealing with chronic health issues, either physical or mental. At what point do you discuss personal heath issues with someone new?

For me, it has always been, when it may affect them. I suffer from PCOS and IBS, and while neither of them make for good dinner conversation, they can wreck havoc on my life. So, I usually talk about it with a new guy when they may cause us to have to alter our plans. If I have to cancel a date because of extreme cramps or excessive bleeding, I let him know what is going on. If he suggests a restaurant that may cause my IBS to flair up, I let him know why I would prefer not to eat there.

It is all about the delivery, and this is where feeling messages work great. In my case, I would say something like; "I'm feeling so excited about dinner tonight, and I think that restaurant may cause a flair up for my IBS. Is there somewhere else you would like to try?"  Or, "I feel so embarrassed saying this, I have PCOS and my cramps are making me feel terrible. Can we reschedule."

This leaves it open for him to change plans with you to accommodate your health concerns. It also lets him into what you are feeling as you're dealing with it, which will make him feel closer to you. 

Most men will appreciate your honesty and work to make sure you are comfortable. They may even open up about something they have been dealing with that they were afraid to tell you about. No man worth having would make you feel ashamed or embarrassed for sharing with him. If he does, he isn't the guy for you and you should move along.